Saturday, September 27, 2008

Shove me into shallow water before I get too deep...

*note: I wrote this a couple weeks back in a very tired, emotional state of self-reflection, shortly after I discovered the date I was on was not going to go anywhere. So I don't even really know if it makes much sense, but it's where I'm at...

Occasionally, people ask me about my singleness. I can usually size them up quite easily and figure out which answer to give them: the shallow-end or the deep-end. And when they ask me what kind of guy I’m looking for, there’s a shallow-end and a deep-end answer for that one as well.

Shallow-end: “Just haven’t found the right guy for me yet.”
Deep-end: “I haven’t found a guy that gets me, understands my passions, and accepts my lifestyle yet.”

But what does that mean?
I want someone who gets me.
Gets that I am a child of God, and my guy will always come second to Him.
Gets that I am a train wreck. I make a mess and I run with scissors and fall down a lot and occasionally set myself on fire, but life with me will never be boring.
Gets that I am creative, and I will always be writing or doodling, or worse-yet, covering our dining room table with project after project.
Gets that I am a reader and a learner and a user of big words and a doer of word puzzles and a knower of what split infinitives are.
Gets that I love the whimsical, be it a show, a conversation with a child, a piece of artwork, or just to dance around in my pajamas on a rainy day.

I need someone who understands my passions.
Understands that I love Jesus and was put on this Earth to serve Him.
Understands that children are my favorite things in the world, and I enjoy almost every minute I spend with them.
Understands that I value family over everything else, dysfunctional or otherwise, and that family will always be a priority and a permanent part of my life.
Understands that I want the simple beauties of life. I have no grand ambitions to go to New York or to be a rock star or a designer of anything. What I do want is a husband and children and a life built around growing them up in a way that honors God.

I want someone who accepts my lifestyle.
Accepts that my lifestyle is about serving other people and putting others first. And even though it isn’t always the healthiest lifestyle, it will always be how I am wired.
Accepts that I spend a lot of time with teenagers and constantly get text messages and read teenager books and watch teenager movies, just so I can talk to them about it and connect with them on a deeper level.
Accepts that I spend a lot of time with family, even when I’m so mad at them I can’t stand it. Even when I have to drive five hours to do so, only to spend two days and turn around and drive five hours back.
Accepts that I work hard at my job. Harder than I really have to, but because I’m committed to these children I will go above and beyond what needs to be done to make sure my children are safe and lovers of learning. (read: dorks like I am)

People with single friends usually ask me what I look for in a guy:
Shallow-end: “Must be tall, must love Jesus, must be funny.”
Deep-end: “Someone like Jim (from The Office), who loves kids, dogs, his church, Jesus, and me.”

But there’s more to even the deep-end answer.
What am I looking for in a guy?
- Someone who loves God and serves Him. (that’s a deal-breaker)
- Someone who loves his church, warts and all.
- Someone who can make me laugh until Mt. Dew comes out of my nose.
- Someone who can articulate how he feels about me, so I’m never left guessing.
- Someone who is a thinker and a reader and a lover of music. I don’t think I could ever be with a non-music person. (and yes, I realize how nerdy this requirement is, but hey- it’s how I roll)
- Someone who loves people, and can interact with them well.
- Someone who is kind to others and sees the big picture of life and understands how his actions affect others.
- Someone who is romantical in creative ways. I don’t need someone to serenade me or buy me fancy things, but instead to bring me flours one day. (And would know that word is not misspelled or used incorrectly)
- Someone who wants to have a family and lead that family in a godly way and direction.

So if you know anyone who fits that description and doesn't have a tattoo that would stare back at me, give them this address and see if they're interested in taking on this challenge...


  1. I love you so much, my sweet, wild and precious friend. I wonder what your man is doing right now? He DOES exist. We just have to wait on God to bring him. Maybe he's babysitting my Haitian kid somewhere in off in lala-land. Whatdayathink?



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