My name is Kurt Hummel and I’ll be auditioning for the role of kicker.

I have said it before and I will say it again. College Gameday makes my heart happy. And I love Kirk Herbstreet. Very much.

Many know that football is my favorite of all the sports. When asked, I tell people my favorite sport is college football, with high school football a close second. The NFL? I could take it or leave it.

Last night was one of two big games here in my little burb. It was the local farmers against the local marauders. And, as anything seems to be lately, it was an adventure for me.

I never want to go to a football game on a Friday night. After a week of teaching, all I want to do on a Friday night is get a pizza and curl up in the fetal position on my couch. But this was one of the two big games, so I made myself go. The game started at 8pm, and was at the local college stadium  about 20  minutes north. I was going to head up there at 7, but decided to run a couple of errands first. Big mistake.

At 7:50 I got to the exit that would lead me to the interstate. All-in-all, it took me 50 minutes to go what should have taken me 20-25. Then, there was parking. I pulled past the stadium, and it was 21-0. As I looked for parking, I realized that I will more than likely be parking in Oklahoma. And I did. After walking back from Oklahoma, I got to the stadium one minute before half time and found the score to be 35-0. Alrighty.

I had to go to the bathroom first, because I’d been in a car forever and four days, and also because that’s just how I roll. I went into the bathroom and was faced with a teenaged boy facing me. He and I both looked at each other as if to say “Are you in the wrong place, or am I?” As two more women came out of stalls, I smugly realized that it was he that was wrong. Score one for me.

As I went to look for a seat, I remembered why I am not always so excited to go to a football game on Friday night. I ran into one of the many of my students that were there watching older brothers and sisters. As I ran into student after student after student, and each of them told me every single thing they’d been doing since I last saw them a few hours prior, I quickly sought shelter in the stands.

But not without accidentally walking through the entire football team and coaches and looking like the idiot that I sometimes am. I managed to watch the halftime show from the wrong stands, which was well done as seen from the back. I might even have a better understanding of Midsummer Night’s Dream. But not really.

I found the adults I knew and some teenagers I knew and enjoyed a little bit of the chilly, high school football game atmosphere, and wanted to leave before the game ended to avoid the crowds, but felt like I’d just gotten there.

I discovered one more thing as I took one last bathroom trip before leaving, not knowing if I’d have a 20 minute trip back or a 20 hour trip back. It turns out, if my cell phone falls out of my pocket and into the toilet, it doesn’t not get ruined. Indeed, it doesn’t even seem affected.

Good to know. Next big game, I’m taking a different route, and hoping the other zillion and a half fans don’t as well.