All in 45 minutes

Ya'll.
Sweet Jesus.

Today is one of those days in which I wonder just how I've made it this far in life.
For a prime example of this, let's look at how my morning went down. Everything was fine until about 8:30am. That's when things started going a little awry:

- While fixing my hair, decide to attempt the now-popular side pony tail. Realize I'm not rockin' it. Pull hair into back pony tail and decide to leave the side pony tail to its rightful wearers: sixteen year old girls in 1987.
- Put on dress. Discover just how short it is in the back. Resolve not to bend over this morning under any circumstances. Take dress off.
- Put on second dress. Search for cardigan in closet, remember it's in dirty laundry, take off dress.
- Put on first dress again. Nope. Too short in back. Legs looking chunky and pale.
- Eureka! Will wear tights under dress. Dig through drawer to see if I even have tights. Find tights. Put tights on. Wonder if I've worn these tights since I was in fifth grade because they are that...tight.
- Put dress back on, find pair of black shoes. Leave the apartment. Roll ankle on way to car. Resolve to walk carefully.
- Halfway to Starbucks realize you have no Bible, no journal, and- oh yeah- no lesson you're about to have to teach. Do I go back home and forego Starbucks? Nope...Starbucks is non-negotiable. Text minister warning her you'll be late.
- Get Starbucks. Head back home. Run in to get curriculum. Find Bible. Find Journal. Um...curriculum? Oh yeah...there it is. Hate the shoes. Switch to more stable heels. Put dog back in crate. Move on with day.
- Get to church. Decide to park in a different place for church. Walk up the steps.
- Get one heel stuck on steps. Get other heel stuck on steps. Spend a moment with both feet stuck on steps wondering...what am I supposed to do now? Leave shoes there? Finally able to wiggle one shoe loose and make it to church.

Really.
By the time I got both shoes stuck, I was wondering whether I should just call it a day and go back to bed.

I'm amazed I've made it this far in life. I really am.

Here's a picture for you, to show you what life is like in my hood.

I just wish she would fold the laundry after she sleeps on it.