Wednesday, October 31, 2012

You must get discouraged because more people believe in Santa Claus than in you. Well, let's face it; Santa Claus has had more publicity, but being #2, perhaps you try harder.

A person should always choose a costume which is in direct contrast to her own personality.

Words of wisdom from It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown.

I don't have kids or a house, and while most of the time that bothers me, I do sometimes enjoy the pass it gives me. Namely, Halloween.

Don't get me wrong... I got to hear my fair share of "Trick or Treat! Smell my feet!" from my students. And while the parents have to pay the piper tonight, I'll have to do my penance tomorrow dontyouworryonebit.

But for tonight, I give you this:

THE cutest (if not most disgruntled) butterfly fairy you've ever seen.

Now, this was not an easy task.

And someone was CLEARLY not happy about it:

If you'd like to do this to your pet, there are a few steps you may want to take in preparation:

1. Bribe the victim Halloween Superstar with chicken nuggets. More than her usual four. I'd go six. At least.
2. Prepare your materials in advance. Wing strings untangled. Tutu untied and laid flat. Cameras at the ready. Phone open to camera setting.
3. Get the victim Halloween Superstar in a comfortable spot, as past experience has lead you to the conclusion that once dressed, she may or may not (or absolutely won't) move at all.
4. GO.GO.GO. Get her dressed, get the pictures taken, and get it off and over with. But take video first. Definitely take video first.
5. Reward the victim Halloween Superstar for her patience. And bribe her not to attack you in your sleep. This little butterfly fairy got a new toy with twelve squeakers. TWELVE!

But not before telling me how she really felt:

And one last thing. In case you don't believe that I have THE MOST non-verbally expressive dog in existence, here's photographic proof:

I've entitled this portrait "I will cut you bi#$%"

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