I just got off my second babysitting gig this December. And it's only the fourteenth.
I am keeping up with the December Daily, even though if you looked at my album, you'd think I only had a couple of days done. I'm hoping to have the luxury of embracing it this weekend.
I am just exhausted.
With the days events in Connecticut, all unfolding while I was spending the day with my littles watching A Charlie Brown Christmas, I am simply emotionally spent.
I had to go straight from school to Wyld Life, and then to pick up the Shih Tzu, so I have not seen any TV footage of the events in Connecticut. I don't know if I'll watch the news at 10. My only news source has been my CNN app on my phone and the updates I'm getting on the Twitter.
I've been following the story all day, unbeknownst to my littles. I've gasped here and there as I found out bits and pieces: there was a shooting, it was an elementary school, people have died, 20 people have died, most of them children, a kindergarten class.
My littles haven't noticed I was gasping. I've hid it from them well, as that is my job. I want them to be shielded from the news altogether. I don't want their parents to tell them, I don't want them to ever hear, and I want to keep them sheltered and protected and safe. Oh how I long to keep them safe.
I can't help but think about those other teachers in that building. Huddled in corners with their students. Being forced to stay calm all day long, amidst the fear and unknown. I've thought about what I would do in that situation before today... it's every teacher's fear- that we can't protect our children. That something will happen and we can't protect them.
I didn't realize I was thinking and feeling all of these things until about 3:15 today, when my last little got in his grandma's car and I was no longer in charge of them. I sat at my desk and fought back tears.
Oh how sad a day.