A tale of two festivals

Six months ago, in September, I helped out at the Blues Festival. It was soaking wet that weekend.

I got to know a casual acquaintance, and he became a friend. A boy friend. With a space in between the words. A boy {space} friend. An integral part of my life.

And this weekend, there was another festival.
35 music festival.
It wasn't a complete washout.

Neither of us went.
I only know that because I've been watching FB.
He probably has no idea if I went or not.

He stopped talking to me 3 weeks ago.
Refusing to answer texts.
He tried to start texting me back up, but I can't go from no contact to how it was before without a conversation.

Then he said something hurtful.
And I haven't heard from him since.

It's not me, it's him. Something's going on with him and I don't know what it is, but it's not about me, so I know I couldn't have done anything one way or another.

The last thing I said to him in person was "Love you too, drive safe. Good night."
And so, if it ends there, it ends there and I have to be okay with that.

But it's probably going to end there.

The (non) Romantic Life

First and foremost, lest you think that The Guy and I are always slow dancing in the kitchen, we had the following conversation last night:
him: "I want to skate. I'm going to go skate. Come skate with me."
me: "Nope. Done skating for the day. I'm going to Old Navy to spend a bunch of coupons and gift cards. Come shopping with me."
him: "Nope. See you tomorrow?"
me: "Yep. See you tomorrow."

Just didn't want you all to get the illusion that I'm living a romantic life up in this place.

a better person

Well, wasn't that a dramatic and sleep-deprived little post I left out there for a couple of a lot of weeks?

Though I'm still slightly sleep-deprived (will I ever not be?) I'm facing the rest of 2016 with a little bit better of an attitude.

I sent this text a few nights couple of weeks ago:

I am at the Denton target with the pretend husband. He's wearing a red hoodie. We got separated and it's like the world's worst game of Where's Waldo. We may be pretend divorced when we are done.

We did not get pretend divorced. We came home, cooked dinner while listening to jazz music, danced in the kitchen, and settled in for the evening with both of us on our computers while his dog snored in his lap.

The boy and I are in a pretty good (though still non-romantic) place lately, but it didn't come without hard work. The "not talking to me" referenced in the last post? That was a punishment and a test. And I assure you, it won't happen again.

When the boy and I were talking on New Year's Eve, he had made me mad, and then I said "I'm frustrated with you" but didn't tell him why, and then pulled the classic, "never mind... forget I said anything." I'm totally owning that- but I didn't want to have this conversation over text. So the next two days, when he was short with me, giving me one word answers and not really initiating any conversation, I thought this could possibly be the end of us.

Then, as I was headed his way to pick him up to skate, he was downright rude to me. Rude. And I had had enough. We were going to have a chat. I am never one to confront conflict, but it wasn't healthy for me continue this way.

So, we set up a time to go and skate. I asked if he could meet me at the park, and he was absolutely rude. I tried to call him- he didn't answer. Challenge accepted. The song that should be playing right now is "Going Down For Real."

We rode in silence to the park, with him making small efforts to talk and me not giving an inch. We skated, with more attempts at small talk and such. And again, I was having none of it. Then we decided on dinner. We ordered, sat down to eat, and I said "I need to talk."

Once upon a time, after he had talked to me about some of his issues with people leaving him, I promised him that I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't leave him. And this seemed to be a test of that.

He asked if we were breaking up, and I assured him that I wasn't breaking up with him, and I wasn't leaving him, but I also wasn't happy with how things were going and that I wanted to see some changes. I told him that he doesn't make much effort in our relationship, and that it's very one-sided, with me doing all the work, doing all the driving north, and me doing all of the heavy lifting. And while I wasn't going to leave him, I also wasn't going to put up with this.

Now, it should be said that I'm a firm believer that you can't change anyone, and you can't change their behavior- they have to be the ones to do it. I will not change for a boy, and I will not try to change a boy. So I was not looking to change him. I just needed for my own sake to tell him that I wasn't happy and give him the opportunity to answer to it. And answer he did.

He said "you're right. I haven't been treating you fairly and you deserve so much better. I'm going to try to do better. I'm sorry."

And he has lived up to the task almost every single day since then. I say almost, because we had another night where he was in a bad mood and being a bit of a prick, and I told him- I don't like it when you do XYZ. I'm leaving if it continues. It continued, and I left, but I woke up the next morning with a text telling me how sorry he is and that he loves me and is glad I'm in his life.

The thing I couldn't have imagined three months ago (how has it only been three months?) is that the guy whose dating profile I would have glanced right over would make me a better person and genuinely make me believe in myself.

This guy. I can't even.

Already done.

Today is the third day of 2016 and I'm already done. 

(In the interest of full disclosure- I've had no sleep, so the potential for dramatic overreaction in this post is high, though I was thinking this before I got no sleep.)

On the 30th of December, the boy made me very frustrated. 

On the 31st, he unintentionally hurt me and I was very short and curt with him. 

And he hasn't really spoken to me since. 

On New Year's Eve, my mother and sister really really annoyed me. 

On New Year's Day, I jumped in a lake with a group of derby girls, including someone I don't like very much at all (see: jealousy), and during that time and the few hours after that, I had such promising hopes, but then the evening settled in. 

On the day after New Year's Day, derby annoyed me and my dad annoyed me and the boy still refuses to talk to me and I am just done. I went to a game night last night with some friends. Three couples and me. I tried to leave at a reasonable hour, but we played one more game that was promised to me to be about 20 minutes. An hour and twenty minutes later and I was finally able to leave. I got lost on the way home. I got home after midnight. I saw that pictures had been uploaded from the jump. The photographer (that I have a crush on) took about 10 pictures of me, but only one made it into the pictures, and it was all my chubby, weird glory. I was also standing next to a model in a string bikini. (Can't make that up). 

About ten minutes before my alarm was supposed to go off this morning I woke from a weird dream because Daisy was having a nightmare and she was screaming. Screaming. I then couldn't get back to sleep because she was snoring. I've had no sleep and I'm tired. The babies in the nursery were abundant and out of sorts. I was sweating at one point from trying to juggle it. 

And I go back to work tomorrow. 

I haven't done one classroom thing during this break, so now I'm in panic mode... 

And I'm exhausted. 

I want off this ride. 

2016- I'm done with you.

 

This Year

I've had intentions of blogging so much.
But I haven't. Because: life.
The boy and I are still intertwined, but we're currently going through a rocky (possibly ending?) phase. So I might write about that and I might not.
And today, I jumped into a lake with 13 of the coolest people I know (now coldest people I know), and I believe with my whole heart I came out a new person.

2015 is gone. 'Bye Felicia.

So, I've put this together and I'm going to leave it right here. I'm sure I'll come back and update it as necessary.

This year.

Sunday Surfing. On Wednesday.

Clutter is becoming a problem among other things right now, so I'm consciously working to get it under control. Including digital clutter.

Here's the FUN from the last few weeks...
- The answer to this question of casual answer to texts is hilarious.

- 21 of the best opening lines in children's books. This includes the single best opening line of any book, which is also my favorite book of all time, and 2 books I read aloud to my kiddos.

- This video on the way we board airplanes actually makes a lot of sense.

- THIS. Modern Jane Austen fan and I can definitely relate.

- Some of my derby friends may be receiving THESE socks.

- This. How Meyers-Briggs prepare for the holidays.  SPOT.ON.  INFJ- perfect description of me.


The SENSIBLE from the last few weeks...
- I want one of these blankets SO BADLY...

- Going to try to end the year with these...

- Am I a Highly Sensitive Person? Uh... a resounding YES. (see also- too much digital clutter)

The MOVING from the last few weeks...

- This video has been making the rounds on the inter webs, but this article made me watch it. Glad I did.

- WORD. Single in the Church.

- I don't advent either.


And, finally... ALL of these quotes. ALL OF THEM.

A Lazy List on a Friday

I'm taking the lazy way out of blogging tonight... I found this list- a little week in review, and I'm running with it.

The temperature is changing, and I cannot.get.warm. It is way too early in the season for me to be constantly cold... yet here I am. 

The highlight of my week was Olive Garden and foot rubs and a puppy snoring on my lap and talking until I couldn't keep my eyes open for anything. And finally figuring out where he and I stand. 

The low point of my week was Monday night. Epic anxiety meltdown. Crying myself to sleep. Waking up in the middle of the night in a complete panic. Being moody and grumpy and completely irrational. 

My favorite photo I took was not one I could share here. I took a picture of this guy and his human, and it was pretty damn cute. I also took one of Reckless and I, not to mention countless classroom pictures I can't show for privacy reasons. 

This week’s workouts were skating Tuesday and Thursday, and the gym with my derby wife this evening. I can barely move my arms to type this.

The best money I spent was on a tunic and fall plaid and some new shoes- all at Old Navy. I'm redefining my fall style, which means getting all new pieces. And I love the look of a tunic. 

My plans this weekend include hopping in the car first thing tomorrow morning with my dog and music and heading west to Lubbock. Skipping practice because it will be frigid, and this girl needs some sleep. 

Happy Thanksgiving, y'all.

30 days of gratitude

So, I had originally planned on blogging through 30 days of gratitude.
At the very least, I was going to put it on Insta (and probably FB) every day to I share what I'm grateful for.

But things are different this year.
Very different.

I've still been keeping up with the 30 days project, but only ending up sharing every third day or so on the social medias.

The difference this year?
So many more people are popping up in my Gratitude Project, and for privacy reasons, I'm not sharing them.  Lots of texts too.

This year, I have so.many.more people in my life that I cannot even decide on just one thankful thing for each day. This project is making me feel incredibly grateful, even when I'm not in the best place or in the best mood.

So far, here's my list of 30 days... most of it not in pictures to share on Social Media.
Nov 1: Texts showing people care
Nov 2: Texts from two very special people. And Blue Bell
Nov 3: Dinner with two special people. And tacos.
Nov 4: My kids huddled together at our outdoor school
Nov 5: Our school program
Nov 6: Fajita night with derby wives and sangria
Nov 7: Lazy Saturday mornings and clean carpets
Nov 8: Babies and naps and WFTDA championships
Nov 9: Quiet moments of work and play
Nov 10: The ways my kids love me
Nov 11: Long phone calls with BFFs
Nov 12: My adopt an athletes and how they love my kids
Nov 13: turkeys on bulletin boards

This project, though only halfway done, has shown me just how much fuller a life I'm leading this year than last.

And I am SO. VERY. GRATEFUL.

Ten on the Tenth

Yesterday was the tenth, and I remembered that it was the tenth, so I was able to take Ten on the Tenth pictures. 

I actually took Fifteen on the Tenth pictures, because I'm sitting on babies, and I tend to document more when I'm away from home. 

So, here's my day in pictures...

gifts from littles

my classroom runs on caffeine

recess duty on a beautiful day

After school plans and my favorite cup

my backpack is falling apart

not a bad view

dinner at pie five- meh

my teenager found this for me...

a little leg warmer

Next blog topic: trying to figure out this whole "space" friend thing... and what it's doing to me...

Sunday Surfing v. 7

I'm about two weeks behind, so this list is going to be forever long.
You've been warned.

First and Foremost: THIS.
I love Neil Gaiman and his writing, and his quote was my new year's inspiration and I firmly believe in him and magic. But this story by his wife? Swoon.

The Thoughtful...
*It's more about cupcakes than you think.
So. much. truth.

*VSCO Cam Tips
How can I memorize all of these?

*The Life-Changing Magic of Intentional Ignorance
I have applied this in some areas of my life and it is indeed life-changing.


The Mindless...
* Harry Potter Coloring Book.
Must. have. this.

*The kitchen style for your Meyers-Briggs type.
Truer than I anticipated... I love the Scandinavian Style.

* Pretty Words
I need to study this one too as I'm about to start some seasonal crafting...

* This sign.
I tried to make it, but couldn't find the mustard balls. (balls... hee hee...)


And The Funny...
* Tweeting Awkward Moments.
I L'd. OL.

* Learning Centers for Teachers.
I would throw elbows to go to station 4.

* Made-up words that describe every day life.
See: dogologue, floordrobe, laundrut



And THIS....
This is my jam right now, especially with all of this weather...

Joshua Judges her Ruth-lessly

Things with the boy{space}friend are not what I'd like right now.
This {space}friend thing is HARD, and I'm not really experienced at it, and it's just hard to figure out.

But that's not what this is about.

While I was wondering about analyzing something from the b{s}f, I got a message over my group app.

In the middle of a torrential downpour, complete with tornado warning, a derby sister told me a secret- one that is life-changing and hit her like a ton of bricks.

She apologized profusely for "bothering" me.
She said she didn't have anyone to talk to.
She said everyone else she knew would judge her.

After checking to make sure she wasn't going to hurt herself, I did the best I could to give her advice, despite the fact that I have exactly zero experience in this general area.

The thing that struck me was this: she wasn't bothering me at all- I had messaged her just two days before thanking her for cheering me up when I was having a crappy night.

And despite what she thought in the middle of this trauma, she did have lots of others to talk to, and absolutely none of them would have judged her.

But she picked me. And I'm honored.

For all intents and purposes, I never know if I'm doing anything right. It's the nature of teaching (much like motherhood- I ask myself- am I screwing up my children?), and it's the nature of everything else in my life.

Am I doing the right thing with the b{s}f?
Am I doing the right thing with derby (the answer is always no- I could be doing more to get myself better prepared)?
Am I doing the right thing by my family and friends?

But for once, I think I'm getting the message that at least, in one little relationship, I'm doing the right thing- being the right person.

The thing is- everyone is judgmental. You say you're not judgmental? Let's you and I go to Walmart at 9pm on a school night and then we'll revisit this topic, mkay? And I will be the first to admit that I'm judgmental. But here's the kicker:

I can't let my judgment of you affect how I treat you. That's my endgame. No matter what I think of you, I cannot let my feelings affect how I treat you, because that's not what Jesus would want. And in this situation- honestly I wouldn't/don't judge her because I don't know how I would act or what I would do... I'm just as confused as she is right now.

But I feel like when she reached out to me it was my little reminder that, above all else, I must be doing something a little bit right.

#Thankful Day One: Text me when you get home safe

I'm doing 30 days of thankful with Cathy Zieslke.

I did it last year, and loved every second of it. This year, I'm kicking it up a notch.

As I was driving home from the middle of nowhere last night after a Halloween party, I was thinking about trying to remember to text the two different people who wanted to know I made it home safely. I was thinking about how it is a simple little thing we all say from time to time, but what it really means is "I care about you and want you to be safe."

And I thought that was the sweetest thing.

So I made that my #gratitude for the day.

(Don't know if I'll get every day blogged, but I'm trying).

Halloween Surfing

A few things that I am finding hilarious this All Hallow's Eve:

16 Things Every Teacher Says at Halloween
They left off "STOP HOWLING" which I had to say yesterday.

Guide to Candy Trading.
This is freaking brilliant.

How to identify suspicious candy
I watched this repeatedly.

And, of course...
Church Costumes For the "Fall Festival"

A musician and a teacher

...walk into a bar.
(though that's not the point of the story- it happens more often than not nowadays...)

It is 7:25 and I am going to bed after I write this because I am damn tired. Daisy's already gotten a head start.

I am driving north five to six times a week nowadays, for various reasons, and on Thursday nights, I drive up there to coach the littles. Last night, the littles were doing a recruiting thing on the square with all of the trick or treaters in the tri-state area.

So, I decided to swing by the boy {space} friend's house and leave him a little prize. Ever heard of being "Boo'd"? Well, I found this:

It should also be noted that I was in no way planning on doing anything but going straight home, so I was still dressed from school: Cammo shirt for red ribbon week, grey comfort sweatshirt over it, and my skinnies, which I then switched over into Old Navy workout leggings, because the derby girl in me lives in those now. My hair was not in the trendy messy bun, but in the homeless, my hair has been braided all day and I don't want to do anything at all with it kind of bun.

I looked pretty.

I attached the cute little picture to a six-pack of Not Your Father's Root Beer, which is absolutely delightful and tastes like Barq's with a bit of a kick, and left it on his front porch.

And then I left to head home and grade math tests because grading is all I do nowadays.

B_F texted to see if I was still in Denton, and asked me to come hang out. I made it VERY clear that I had math tests to grade, and our hanging out would be exactly that. I've been whining about papers to grade forever, and he's always telling me he will help me grade them. So he was going to make good on his promise.

And then, the teacher discovered what it's like to hang out with the musician, and the musician discovered what it's like to hang out with the teacher.

We had to go deliver some cookies to some friends just off the square, and as we were walking back to the car, the musician heard the music. And he said it was cool and got excited about it and kinda wanted to go listen to it and could we pleeeeasssseee go in for just a minute and I said I'd help you grade papers and oh look- isn't that your favorite food truck?

So I gave in and we went in and sat outside and it wasn't my favorite food truck but it did have some pretty good chips and queso and the musician learned that if you want to hang out with a teacher on a school night, you're gonna have to grade some math tests to do it.

The funny thing (aside from how bad I looked) was that we walked past two other tables with people grading papers to get outside to the food truck.

Thing I feel like I should note:
The B_F and I are just friends. Period.

He has a good solid crush on another derby girl, that doesn't like him back but doesn't refrain from texting him when she's feeling down and needs to be surrounded by friends. (her words) I don't think he knows she's not interested, and that makes my heart break for him and steam come out of my ears for her. But, I do not try really hard not to participate in drama, and it is not my place to speak for either of them, so I just keep my trap shut and file away information for later when it may be needed.

In praise of blurry pictures

I mentioned eariler that the boy {space} friend is not on my good side right now.
That might possibly be because I was working on only 5 hours of sleep, very little food (I tend to not actually eat on Sundays... just snack), and heaps and piles of stress.

It might also be because he's a bit of a stupid-head at times, like all of Saturday and most of Sunday.

So, we're going to ignore that fact for now, and focus on the post at hand:

An entire Saturday of blurry pictures.
Saturday was a nutty day/evening/early next morning.

Practice was cancelled due to rain, so I was able to lay in and sleep on my couch until about 2pm, which was good since I had been with the boy {space} friend until about 1 the night before.

It was finally time to get up because I had somewhere to be. Actually, several somewheres to be.
I was way over scheduled. I was also not looking at anything weather related, because I put on a dress, stepped onto my porch, and immediately went back inside and changed into my favorite sweater. And it was glorious.

The first stop: the school carnival. Started at 5. Got there at 5:02. Saw who I needed to see, and left at 5:21. Winner Winner Chicken Dinner.

Then, the real fun began.
I've become a Dentonite as of late, and we had a little gathering at my second favorite gathering place in Denton. It has an amazing outdoor patio area. (just an aside- my first favorite place has an amazing outdoor patio area with food trucks). I met up with bunches of derby girls, including my derby wives, and we hung out and laughed, several dressed in costume. (It was a costume thing).

I took a few pictures, all blurry because it was 97.9999% humidity. After the derby party, the derby wives and a few others went to celebrate Snow White's birthday. Snow White wanted tacos and karaoke. In that order. And since it was her birthday, we obliged. (By the way, that's not a pseudonym... she was actually dressed as Snow White- all.night.long)

I won't go into the details, but as a memory keeper, I took lots of pictures.
Lots of blurry pictures.
28 blurry pictures.

But the blurry pictures, though not photographer quality, are some of my favorites ever taken. They tell the story of karaoke, late night tacos, and a run in with a bachelor party...

They're not the best, but they show the best time ever. I was way out of my comfort zone, but with a bunch of other girls and we had the best time ever.

And I have 28 blurry pictures to prove it.


***
Also, it should be noted that at last night's practice, boy {space} friend was not being a complete and utter jerk-face stupid-head anymore, and when KC asked about it, I said "I guess he was just in a mood and didn't want to be around people."

To which she replied: "Oh, like you get sometimes."
#TruthHurts
#ButSheGetsMe

Sunday Surfing

I really need to be doing about 47 other things, but clearing my browser is one of them.
I've been in a real mood today because of too much derby drama and not enough derby skating.
Also, the boy {space} friend is not on my good side right now...

Anywasy...
Fun stuffs on the interwebs!

- 10 Very Costly Typos
I have some grammar nerds out there that will love this.

- 24 hilarious book tweets
I L'd at some of these. OL.

- 25 words your kindergartener must know before first grade.
McSweeny again, and as usual, hilarious.

- I must decline, for secret reasons.
I love Keon's lists and letters as well...

- Sleepy time calculator
Turns out I go to bed at exactly the right time to get up at 5:30... even on derby nights...

-Too much choice is stressing us out.
I can so relate to this... I have a really hard time at restaurants...

That's all...

Over and out.

Boy {space} Friend

I mentioned that I have a new friend.

A friend that is a boy. 

I said that if I was looking at him through the lens of an online dating profile, I would pass right over him. I wouldn't look twice, would write him off, and would miss an incredibly awesome and creative person. 

I also might have said this:

We're just friends. If he asked for more (which I doubt he will, as I think he's got a bit of a crush on one of the other derby girls), I would not hesitate to spend any time with him that I could because he's an amazing human being.

While he's not explicitly asking for "more," he is asking me to spend a lot of time with him.
And I don't hesitate to say yes.

When he asked me to meet him for dinner, I said yes, even though I'd already eaten and would be out way past my bed time.

When a friend invited all the derby people to celebrate her birthday, and he asked if I wanted to go with him, I said yes, even though I wouldn't be leaving my house until 10pm and had absolutely no desire to go anywhere but under my covers.

When he asked me to paint- and not the fun painting, like a canvas, but the boring painting, like a bunch of cinder blocks- I said yes, even though I'd be painting cinder blocks and making a complete mess of myself. (Don't worry- we went to a delicious dinner and he bought me ice cream afterwards...)

So...
I'm not sure where this is going.
He's not my boyfriend. He's a boy, and he's my friend.
He is a boy {space} friend. 

He's a boy {space} friend that I can't pretend around, as he's seen (and smelled) me at my absolute worst- after a roller derby practice. And still chosen to hang out with me.
He's listened to me talk about my school day, and how this is a very stressful year, and how I'm insecure as a teacher for the first time in a long time. (And I've listened to him talk at length about derby this and derby that.) And he's listened to me talk about how I don't think I'm good enough, and I'm struggling, and he's encouraged me more than almost anyone.

And anywhere we go- anywhere at all- he's brought along his coloring book and crayons, and despite being surrounded by all sorts of people, we just sit and color and talk.

Despite Katiebug's advie to "punch through the friend zone," we are still just friends.

And for now, I'm okay with not having to figure out what we're doing. We're just spending time together and really enjoying it.

I could get used to having a boy {space} friend.

Sunday Surfing v. 5

Here's what I'm surfing as of late.
But there's so much more floating around my brain.
I might even try to blog about it...

Every Celebrity Interview
Y'all. This is the funniest thing I've read in quite some time.

23 things I wish I'd known at 23.
I can relate to a very many of these.

Where Children Learn:
As a teacher, this is fascinating to me.

Ten Commandments of Southern Parents:
I am not a mother, but my mother followed most of these, and the Aunt religiously follows them. We.Are.Southern.

Nihilistic Password Security Questions:
I canNOT remember my security question passwords, but I might be able to remember some of these...

Halloween Coloring Pages:
We are BIG into coloring right now (story to come later) and these are definitely getting printed.

Five things you should do every day when life gets stressful:
Though I'm not a traditionally neat person, I actually do most of these every day. Which is good, as I'm in one of the more stressful times in a while.

A corn maze.
In the shape of Texas. I'm TOTALLY doing this. (Probably on Thursday to be exact.)

And more tee shirts I need:
This
This
This
and most definitely this

I can't wait to meet you in a well-lit, busy location

So, recently (okay- this weekend), I read a couple of articles on online dating:

- Five myths about online dating
- I Tried Online Dating And No One Even Messaged Me Back

I've believed those myths, and I've tried multiple (okay- two) dating sites and had no one message me. But that has nothing to do with the reason I don't like online dating.

I don't like online dating sites. At all.
Not because of the guys that are on them, and what they do or say or don't do or don't say.

I don't like online dating sites because of who I am when using online dating sites.

When I see the profile of a person on an online dating site, I am only seeing a small part of what a person can communicate to me about themselves. And because there are often more than one, I start looking at them all and scrutinizing judging them over every little thing. (Calling a spade a spade here.)

Never is that behavior more pronounced (read: convicting) as when I meet someone in real life and realize that if I had looked at his profile on an online dating site, I wouldn't spend more than ten to twenty seconds dismissing it. Especially if this person is one of the most golden, special, Jesus-like people I may have ever met.

I have a friend that I met through derby. He's a boy. We'll go ahead and get that out of the way.
He's the "big brother" or almost the "mascot" of the league. (His official title is a sponsor of one of the teams).

I've been in derby for almost two years. I've heard of him since the beginning, talked to him a couple of times, and made all sorts of pre-conceived notions and judgements about him. I knew he was a "nice guy" but that's mostly all of what I've known of him. I've been cordial, nice, helpful when I can be, but I had no idea who this guy is. I had heard he was a nice guy who would drop everything to help, but a lot of guys I know are like that.

See, if he would have put up a profile, I would immediately dismissed him for several reasons.

But his online profile wouldn't have told me that he would stand outside in the pouring rain to put up a lean to so that we wouldn't have to get any more wet than we already had. And he would do this in clothes that he had just bought the day before.

I wouldn't have known that he would be the kindest, most encouraging person I've ever met. That he would volunteer to help me with the one area I'm struggling with the most in derby.

That he would offer up his house in case the group of girls he was with didn't want to use the port-a-potties.

That he would go out of his way to make sure we are all protected and safe on our way to our cars and late night.

That he would take the biggest challenge our league has ever faced and make it his personal mission to bring good out of it. That he would inspire me every time I see him. That I would want nothing more than to be like him.

I would have dismissed him when seeing his occupation, not knowing that he went to school to study music. On a full scholarship. Like, whoa.

I would have dismissed him based on the grammar and text and Facebook spellings and punctuations, not knowing that he went to graduate school and is quite possibly one of the smarter people I know.

I would have dismissed him based on his ethnicity, but not realized that he is nothing that it would suggest, and he makes the best jokes about it (jokes that I would make), and that he has the best sense of humor.

I would have dismissed him based on his height, not knowing that he gives the best hugs and the best shoulder taps and hand squeezes of encouragement.

And boy would I miss out.

Don't read into this.

We're just friends. If he asked for more (which I doubt he will, as I think he's got a bit of a crush on one of the other derby girls), I would not hesitate to spend any time with him that I could because he's an amazing human being.

But if I was just looking at him "on paper"- I think I'd miss every single good thing about him.
#keepingitreal


P.S. And then I did also go and read something along the lines of THIS as well.

Go figure.

(Also- it should be noted that even thought I have had these thoughts all along, I've never actually blogged about them. I know- I went back and checked. And damn, I've been blogging for a long time.)

Sunday Surfing v.4

Oh Lawsie.

I have entirely too many windows open on my computer. I kept hitting open in new window and then opened in new tabs there, and I think it's slowing down my computer and messing with my mouse. Says the girl with no technical interwebs knowledge whatsoever.

20 tabs spread across 4 windows.
8 Adobe Acrobat files open as well.
#jesustakethecomputer

I'm actually writing this on Saturday, because I have reached my maximum amount of digital clutter.
Too much.
Must get some of this gone.

So, let's get some of these tabs closed:

- The Ultimate Fall To-Do List (for people who hate fall)
I can totally get behind most of these. And I am determined to find a corn maze this year.

- Joke All You Want, But My Sorority Days Were Golden.
It's true. They were golden. And pink. Very, very pink.

- Dreadlock Dad can scrapbook too.
Single dad with four kids that scrapbooks. And has very pretty arms.

- A Boyfriend Too Good To Be True.
This is a good story- and not what you'd think.

- Japanese designers create nameless paint to help children learn about colors.
As a teacher, I love this.

- The Internet Wants to Help You Take Care of Yourself.
At a time when self-care is of the utmost importance and necessity to me, this is really beautiful.
And definitely click on the Tumblr link.

- Why Are Little Kids In Japan So Independent?
I so wish this was a thing in America.
"This assumption is reinforced at school, where children take turns cleaning and serving lunch instead of relying on staff to perform such duties."

- For me to revisit later.
I love Buzzfeed.

- Socality Barbie is one of my new laughs.

- How to Lose Weight in Four Easy Steps.
This has shown up on several of the sites I visit, and it was kind of funny to me.

Wearables:
THIS tee shirt. It is just who I am as a person.
Well, I'll just get one of each.

There's more, but that's for another time.
I've read some articles on online dating, and those are for another post.
Tomorrow. Or Tuesday... maybe Wednesday???