A Letter

Dear Mom Volunteering at My School Today,

Thank you for your time and energy in volunteering with our day today. However, a word of advice. Unless a woman has used the phrase "due date," do not ever even suggest the hint that she may look maternityish in any way. It will just take the air out of her day and probably piss her off a little. At least, that's what happened today when you said that my dress was cute and you wish they had cute clothes like that when you were pregnant.

Not everyone will be as gracious as I was. Or deflated.

Yours truly,
The Teacher Who Is Not Pregnant, But Will Be Burning Her New Dress Shortly and Never Eating Again