Things I Need

I know the difference between needs and wants, and I guess this list isn't really needs, but more of a wants that would be very helpful to my life at the moment.

1. to learn to speak Spanish. In less than 30-something days. When I go to Mexico for Spring Break, it's a border town, and the people there usually speak enough English and I speak enough Spanish for the both of us to muddle through. But in August, I'm going to Guatemala, where there is very limited English. It's gonna be interesting, simply based on my ability to confuse things in English. The sky's the limit for confusing people in Spanish.

2. a car that tells me what direction I'm going in the corner of the rear view mirror. I have a disability when it comes to directions. It would be so much easier to go North on Macarthur if I knew what direction I was going in the first place. And I know I could go get a compass for my dashboard, but what about me makes you think I can read a compass? I get by by visualizing 35 in relation to where I am, but that only helps a girl so much.

3. People to stop giving me directions that involve the words "north", "south", "east", or "west". Really people. What makes you think I can understand you? I am blonde. I am female. And I am behind the wheel. And while I understand that that is a gross misrepresentation of most of the gender, I happen to resemble the visual that most people see when they hear blonde female driver. So what about that makes you think I am understanding you when you say "go east on such-and-such a street for so many miles?" You might as well be speaking Spanish.

4. People to stop giving "friendly reminders." I got one from my apartment complex, and it wasn't very friendly to me. You're trying to be all friendly-like, but you're telling me something I'm doing wrong, and a form letter ain't going to cut it. And, by the way, if you're really so concerned about keeping our "community" beautiful, don't worry about the lights that fell down on my patio because of the extreme wind we had a couple of days ago, and concern yourself more with the 1980-something beat-up tireless van parked in the parking lot outside in our parking lot, or the multitude of jimmy-rigged direct tv dishes on the balconies.

I think that's all for now, but I'm sure I'll think of other needs...