Thursday, June 11, 2009

Cow.'Nother cow. Actually, I think that was the same one.

First of all let me say that now that the whole tornado crisis is over with, I'd like to have my cable back, thanks...

Now, for your enjoyment...

A Tornado Story

So, I'm sitting on my couch, watching a taped episode of Bones, and just pulled down my computer to check on a couple of things, one of which being facebook. Hey, look. So-and-so's status says there's a tornado warning in FloMo. That's the city that's less than two blocks away. I should probably investigate this. I check, and sure enough, we're under a warning.

I go outside with Daisy, you look at the sky and use my own skills of meterology. A little lightning, a little big deal. Daisy sees cute neighbor's stepdad walking up, and runs over to beg him for love and attention. As we're talking about the impending tornadic situation as good neighbors should, and Daisy's collar snaps off and retracts with her leash into my hands. She is immediately aware of this and bolts for Mexico.

So, then I have to chase her. She's good at the "'re getting closer...closer...just kidding!" game of letting me get within arm's reach and bolting again. It's a special game. Just as I grab her tail and get her collar back on her, the siren's start going off. At this point, I jump into action.

Action? you might ask. What kind of action? Did I begin some sort of phone chain to alert the neighbors? Did I start knocking people out of the way of the debris?

Nope. I ran inside and cleaned my bathroom and made sure there was no visible bras or panties anywhere in my apartment, especially by the laundry nook. Maybe you heard me mention that I'm currently living in a swirling vortex of entropy. At one point I even thought...hey...if the tornado comes, it'll rip off my roof, but it can only improve the inside of my apartment.

I was hoping to get a little more cleaned up, but sure enough, the wind kicked up FIERCELY and the neighbors started coming in to seek shelter. At one point, I was going to just tape a sign outside my door that said "Tornado shelter...ya'll come in now, ya hear?" But I didn't. I was trying to wrangle my dog who was a little keyed up from her almost-vacation to Mexico and trying not to let it be known just how much I hate cats, since one couple that came and joined us brought their two cats. It was hilarious to hear the one continuously meow-ing, since that's not a sound I hear ever around my apartment.

Of course, as soon as we all get gathered in the apartment and the wind starts blowing hard and Dororthy and Toto go flying past, tailed by a couple of monkeys, the cable goes out. So while the wind is blowing 90 miles an hour, and the sky is very green...we have no idea what's going on in the world. Thank Gawd I still had my bootleg internet to keep us up on the storm!

So, the tornado is over and the neighbors have finally gone their merry way. I was really hoping to have a cleaner apartment for the next time the neighbors had to come on down for a tornado-related gathering, but I was a bit wrong.

You'd think this whole episode would motivate me to really get my apartment clean and presentable.

You'd think.

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