Sunday, August 23, 2009

Bananas...Bunnies...Battlestar Galactica?

So, most people know I'm allergic to bananas. And by allergic I mean my eyes, lips, and throat swell up if I eat a whole banana and my body breaks out in head-to-toe hives.

Now, you can add bunnies to the list. My co-teacher, that I luv, has a bunny...has had it for a year. I don't go near it. Other than dogs, I'm relatively anti-animal. My kids bugged me for a class pet all last year. I told them I had 21 and didn't need anymore. They didn't laugh.

So today, while working in my classroom, my co-teacher needed me to help her bring the bunny back into her classroom. In doing so, the bunny escaped and I helped her catch it and hold it while she put the cage back together after it came apart in the escape attempt.

I would now like to claw my eyes out. Typically, any interaction with my eyeballs has been the desire to poke them out due to boredom, but now, they are swollen and teary, and everything I am typing is a smidge blurry. It's not pretty. I'm already planning a response if people ask me what's wrong because there is visibly something wrong with my eyes. Add it to the crazy-shaped sunburn I am sporting, and I am quite a sight. I expect the marriage proposals to come a floodin' in when I go to the grocery store.

Here's one more story of the day for you.

Our school wrap packs left out crayons. We're still trying to figure out if it was our mistake or theirs, but we can't have school with no crayons. It's unAmerican. (That capitalization looks weird. Maybe I need to hyphenate it.) It's un-American. (That's better). So, being the kind teacher I am, I went to Target to buy them all crayons while they were .25 a box.

First, I had to deal with the glares from the rest of the free world that was at Target buying school supplies the day before school started. Did I mention I was buying them not only for my class, but two other classes as well? So I loaded 55 boxes of crayons into my cart and headed to check out.

I've once said that if choosing the wrong lane at the store were a super power, I'd rule the world. Today would have meant total world domination because let me tell you, choosing lane 11 was a big mistake. Big mistake. Huge.

I went to aisle 11 to check out. I purposely got in that line because there was someone else there, giving me time to stack the boxes in stacks of five to get an accurate count. When it was my turn to check out, I noticed that she was wearing a nametag that said "new team member." I should have turned and run the other way.

Instead, I continued forward, telling her I had 55 boxes, and making small talk as I watched her ring up the 55 boxes of crayons one. by. one.

50 more times.

About halfway through, the man in line behind me looked at me and said "Oh my God, she's scanning them one at a time!"

If choosing the wrong line in the store were a super power, I would rule the world.

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