Restoring the will to live

Every year, I buy myself a little “Welcome back to school, here’s to another great year in which you will not kill your students!” I always buy it at the beginning of the year because if I wait until the end of the year, I run the risk of not getting to have it, because good lord at the end of the year I am ever so close to killing them.

Of course, this year I may still have to return it because I’m very close and it’s only day 9 of school. We’re working on that. With the help of medication for both me and them we’re working on that.

Back to the gifts. Three years ago, I got myself these.

Two years ago, I got myself these.

Last year I got myself these. I loved them so much I’ve since bought about 37.4 million trillion hundreds more of them for myself and others.

No, I do not have an unhealthy obsession with colorful office products. Shuh-uuup. I do not.

Today, I came home to a package sitting in front of my door. I’m just glad someone else didn’t see Oriental Trading on the side of the box and whisk it away. Very glad. Because inside of it were the contents of my “Welcome back to school, here’s to another great year in which you will not kill your students!” prize. And it was good. Oh my stars good.

Ya’ll, I can’t tell you the creative outlet this is gonna be. See, this year, instead of just buying myself a bunch of pretties to doodle with, I decided to invest a little more this time, and get some projects to work on. This should work better than the option to which I have defaulted in the past. Wine.

But there is still bubbly Thursday for that.