My hope is built on nothing less...

I love it when God lets me in on something in the eleventh hour. (I really wish there was a universal sarcasm font.)
Seriously. It was 11:21. And I had to be at church at 7am this morning. And Starbucks was non-negotiable.

Lately I've been in a mood. (I'm sure you've noticed).
Having given up on the hope.

I wasn't completely hopeless. I had just quit hoping.
Hoping for the little bitty dream I had for myself.
Because it was hard.

And then, last night, at 11:21, as I was thinking about my without-hope-ness, and God said "Now you know what they felt like right about now."

Mark 15:42-47
Some people probably didn't know that Jesus had said He was going to come back in three days. Everything they had placed their entire hope in was gone. Even though He had said He would die, I don't know that I would have believed Him. He was the son of God and if I believed that, I'm sure I would have thought He would just save Himself or ascend into Heaven or something at the last minute, even on the Cross. Or that He would have come back inmmediately. Or maybe after one day. Or another.

But at 11:21 on the Saturday night after He was crucified, I have to imagine they'd thought He'd be gone forever. Everything they had believed in.

But some had known He'd said He'd be back in three days.
Matthew 27:57-66
I still can't imagine what they were thinking or feeling. How desperate they were feeling. Even though they heard Him say He'd be back in three days, did it make those three days easier? No. They were filled with despair just the same. Because although He'd said He was coming back in three days, they hadn't seen it first hand, and it was nothing they'd ever seen before, so the believing had to be just as hard as if they hadn't known He was coming back in three days.

So as I'm thinking about how I've given up hope for marraige, for my little dream, God's telling me

"Now you know what they felt like right about now."