What is wrong with him? Everyone has a different theory

**UPDATED: I went to church tonight armed with Chick-fil-a, and ready to see all of my Wednesday night friends! Except as I pulled up to the parking lot, I realized that it starts.next.week.

Lately, I've discovered a few things that make me feel slightly uncomfortable that I am the one that makes all of the decisions about my life.

- I tried to put my apartment key in to my suv ignition. And wondered why it didn't fit.

- I needed to google something, and pulled up Google. In the search box I proceeded to type 'www.google.com'. And then I forgot what I was googling.

- I was driving behind this little car, reading the bumper stickers and looking at the model of the car. It was an sx4. I was thinking to myself how I would say that out loud, and my mathematical brain thought 's times 4'? Huh. Then I realized that sometimes, the letter x does not stand for a multiplication sign. One week down and fourth grade has gone to my brain.

- When I was going to look for That Boy's page on Face-book, I actually typed "That Boy" into the search box instead of his real name. I'll tell you why I was looking it up on FB later. Don't get excited.

- I had the following phone conversation with my BFF:

me: "Hey, I have another call, can you hang on for a second?"
BFF: "Sure."
me: "Hello?"
BFF: "It's me!"
me: "Oh, sorry... hang on a sec... hello?"
BFF: "Still me!"
me: "Crap. Hang on...hello?:
BFF: "Me again."
me: "Well, damnit. They hung up. So, anyways..."

- Just now, at 7:30pm, my alarm went off. I would have liked to get up 12 hours ago, but apparently I set the time wrong. For the second time this week.

- I decided to take Daisy to take the trash to the dumpster. Got her leashed up and ready to go. Then I couldn't find the trash. Because I'd taken it earlier in the day.

I don't need a husband.

I need a zookeeper.