Thursday, February 10, 2011

That Elmo. He's a good baby daddy.

I have had the same post up to finish for about eleventy zillion days. And I haven't finished it. I haven't actually even added anything to it since I left for Lubbock.And it's not even this post.

Which brings me to my story for today.
Which will be bullet-pointed.
Because, hello, how am I supposed to tell you about an entire weekend plus one day in just one post?

- I truly needed someone to follow me to/through the airport with a camera crew. Because it was that kind of crazy. The Mother bailed on me at the last minute, because apparently she's scared of sharing a major highway with a bunch of semis and a teensy bit of nation-crippling ice. Sissy.

- I made it to the airport (after one stop on the shoulder of the major highway during the nation-crippling ice to clean off my windshield), and got the car parked in the little covered parking lot. A magical shuttle took me to my terminal and I was on my way. Easiest.thing.evah.

- I'm not going into details here, but my attempt to secure an earlier flight involved members of a tennis team, TSA suspicion of a pocketknife on my persona, gates 4, 6, and 10, some sprinting with my carry-on dragging behind me, excessive perspiration, and finally, running into my work husband and his family also waiting to get out of the snowplex as well.

- Then, I made it to Lubbock. The Aunt, who had been following my plight remotely through text messages, picked me up and immediately drove me to a place called The Funky Door, known as the land of cheese and wine. Also known as heaven. 

-  It was there that we saw something that unfortunately cannot be un-seen. A devil woman with a blue dress on. Circa 1991. With crimped hair. And hooker interesting shoes. Did I mention big, crimped hair? Tight skirt? Listen, y'all. It was so... so... much that I had to take a picture and text it to The BFF. Please ignore The Aunt in the front of this picture and focus on the hot mess lady in the background.

-After that, we came home and watched a little Dateline at which point The Aunt fully realized how starved for life I'd been during Snowmaggedon 2011 as I was talking to the television. As if it was speaking directly to me. It was bedtime after that.

Saturday, Sunday,and Monday were filled with family and fun and all the good stuff.

- On Monday I packed myself up and got back to Love Field. Where I had to figure out how to get back to my car. Since I hadn't exactly, you know, paid attention to which shuttle took me to the airport from my car, I needed help. I walked up to the shuttle-ish area, and a man asked me which one I needed. I didn't know, and he asked me just the right questions to get me to the right place.

- When I got on the shuttle, the lovely lady driver opened up the door of the shuttle and had a little conversation with the direction-giver. It went a little something like this:
Driver: "Did she give you any of the money?"
E: "Nope. Not a penny. Thought I'd ask"
Driver went on further to explain:
"That's Elmo. He went and bought his baby mama's square in the super bowl pool and she won $500. I was wondering if she gave him any. Guess not. He is such a good man. He got a couple of kids with her. He pays for everything for those kids. He takes care of everything they need. He's good to them. That Elmo. He's a good baby daddy."
And that is one of the many reasons I need a video crew following me around.

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