Sunday, March 11, 2012

Daylight savings time and constant reminders

Today was the day we spring our clocks forward and then try our bestest to stay awake during church. Our worship leader is a little long-winded when publicly talking to God, and today I had to keep my eyes open because if his prayer went longer than about a minute and a half (and it always does), I would be out. cold.

At church, we only had about 15 little ones, when we usually average 30-40. I went to the baby room when I was done with my teaching duties, and the precious little ones were hilarious. They weren't cranky, but their eyes were glazed over and they were yawning, as if they couldn't figure out why they wanted to sleep but couldn't. It was a particularly snuggly morning, and for that I am grateful.

After church, I went and had lunch and dodged the four families I saw at the deli for as long as I could, lest I have to answer the question "What are you reading?" with an answer of a young adult novel few people have ever heard of. I just tell people it's Hunger Games-ish. Or Hunger Games Light, which is more accurate.

Before getting out of the car, The Aunt called, since she is on her way to the Big D (YAY!) and I warned her that I had not had sufficient sleep and should not be talking about much of anything. True to form, I was in quiet tears before the conversation was over.

When I say I do not do well on little sleep- people, I am not lying. I was telling her about the prior evening that kept me up so late, meeting the sister's boyfriend, and discussing once again how I just don't fit into my family at all. If the aunt hadn't been present at my birth I would be searching for my birth mother right now.

(Insert awkward transition to a completely different topic here)

I've mentioned before that Kelly Clarkson may or may not be musically stalking me. I've actually given in to her hotsy-totsy ways and begun liking her new songs and singing along. In my car. Rather loudly.

I've also daily been reminded of Phoenix or Arizona. Sitting at my parent's desk I see a leftover Christmas card detailing a friend's trip to Phoenix. A coworker comes to show me pictures of her son's wedding. Where was it? Phoenix. And he's a doctor.One of my students wears a shirt from the Phoenix Zoo. Phoenix and Arizona are everywhere.

I went to Best Buy yesterday. As soon as I walked in I saw they were showing Beauty and the Beast. My second favorite Disney movie but someone else's very favorite.It was the storyline from one of the new shows I watch: Once Upon a Time. It's shown regularly on ABC family.

I turn on the Disney Pandora station, and Hedwig's theme plays as a whole song, and I have to look up for a moment, turn my attention away from the papers I'm grading. And sigh.

All reminders of someone.
Someone I'm trying to forget.

I try not to read into all of this... after all, sometimes a stop sign is just a stop sign. I think of it like a car you notice. When I decided to buy The Escape, I started noticing them everywhere. Every other car was an Escape. Blue ones, red ones, lots of ones that look just like mine. It wasn't a sign- just a heightened awareness. Phoenix and Kelly and Belle... 

Now, the task is to train myself to unnotice them. Easier said than done.
Especially when Kelly sings every other song on the radio.

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