Monday, September 09, 2013

How I almost lost my teaching license, or the final cast of characters...

Holy guacamole, today was quite a Monday. I was a little too concerned with getting to school to get a few copies made for a few people, and then I wanted to take my big camera because we had an assembly, blah, blah, blah, and I ended up leaving my Mac charger and both my iPads at school today. Awesome. We were also supposed to do the pledge today, but I forgot that too.

By 8:00am I was beginning to wonder, once again, who lets me be in charge of children?

Speaking of children, I remembered that I left one of G's circus members out of the description this morning as I was called out of my class because he had gotten his calendar signed, and had a meltdown and just couldn't stop crying. Like, at all. Heaving sobs. (They had a sub). Tomorrow, both G and KC are going to be gone, and I'll be the ring master of all three rings. I covet your prayers and offerings of alcohol.

Let's talk about KC's crewe, shall we?

Her entire motley crewe of children is like the Island of Misfit Toys. It's a special bunch, and again, every description would end with "Bless Their Hearts".

But I want to tell you about one in particular. She is the New Girl. 

She's not the New Girl in a cute, quirky, whimsical kind of Zooey Deschanel way.


She's the New Girl in the "clearly you don't know who I am or how I run things" kind of way.

Within the first fifteen minutes of her being in my class, I almost lost my temper with her (and subsequently my job), because physical violence was the first thing that came to my mind.

I had actually met her in the office the day before, in which her father introduced her by saying "This is my daughter New Girl...she's a Libra." At first, I thought he said Leaper, which is what we call our gifted kiddos here in our district (District 12... just kidding... a little Hunger Games humor). But no, I was assured later that he was referring to her astrological sign.

So, she starts school the next day, a day on which I happen to be giving a math test. I spoke to the class briefly, and then as I was passing out the "privacy folders", I said to her "We are taking a math test, and I'm going to go ahead and have you take it, but I won't count the grade."

And then she looked at me and said...

Y'all. She said "Um, you could have stopped after 'we're going to have a math test.'"

Oh y'all. Y'ALL. Fifteen minutes into my class and she's already giving me sass? It required me to stop what I was doing and just stand there holding plastic file folders and just breathe for a few minutes.

Then. THEN! She said "you can go ahead and grade it too."

Oh with pleasure Libra. With pleasure.

(And because I'm me, I did grade it and privately pull her aside and say that I would not be putting the failing grade in the grade book after all. )

That was only in the first fifteen minutes. You can only imagine how the other hour and a half went.


It's going to be quite a year.

Bless my heart.

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