Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Dear Ma'am,

Dear Ma'am in the Pink Dress at Church This Afternoon,

Let me first tell you this: If you cop a serious attitude with me as I am getting off a SCHOOL BUS full of children, when said school bus just came from the local skating rink in which I helped chaperone 240+ elementary-aged children, you are doing so at your own risk.

Yes ma'am, I know we are arriving at the church approximately 10 minutes later than we said. Yes, I can tell by your, um, demeanor, that you are not happy. Yes, I understand that you are already 10 minutes late for your doctor's appointment.

No, we cannot bring the papers and your child's belongings down to you right now to make this faster, since I have no idea who your child is and where his or her belongings may be at the moment. Maybe if you'd been a little bit nicer to me instead of this big attitude you are copping, I might be a little more willing to help you. And, just for your information, you can continue tapping your cell phone with your manicured finger nail to try to get your point across that you are late, but it's not going to make me any nicer or this process any faster. And when it all boils down to it, you knew that at this particular time every day this week, your child would be coming back from a field trip with 240+ children, and if you didn't even consider that we may be a few minutes late on any given day when you were booking said doctor's appointment...well, that's not really MY bad now is it?!

Now, because I am a Christian and we are both standing in the House of God at this moment, the only parts of this letter I am going to convey to you at the moment are "Yes" "I understand" and "No." Because God said that we should love our neighbors, and sometimes that simply means to be short and sweet with them when what you really want to do is beat them senseless with the stack of 240+ medical forms you have in your possession.

So, you go have yourself a nice day at your little doctor's appointment. And if, for some reason your doctor may not be ready to see you the moment that you walk in the door of his office, you be sure to tap that little manicured finger on your cell phone and see if you get better results.

God be with you,


  1. I'm not amazed at stuff like this anymore. After 19 years of youth ministry, these happen AT LEAST once a month. Sorry it happened to you today...

  2. That's okay. I get goofy stuff like this all the time from parents at school, and every once in a while I get it at church. I received word from someone who watched the whole thing, because apparently the woman grabbed my arm (I don't particularly remember that) and she said my face was pleasantly blank the whole time. I wanted to say "And next time, I'll be sure to put your name on the volunteer chaperone list!"

    It happens, and doesn't bother me anymore...just provides for fun blog fodder.



Blog Widget by LinkWithin