Thursday, January 31, 2008

The First Stop on the UFO Tour of Texas: Flower Mound

So, in case people didn't think were were off our spurs enough deep in the heart of Texas, some people in Stephenville have seen a UFO. And what do you do when you've seen a UFO? You take pictures on your cell phone and alert the media, of course. Now, I'm not usually one to debate the existence of extraterrestrial beings or their interplanetary vacation spots. But this time, I think I have proof of their visit to the FloMo area.

Exhibit A: The history of pets in my house growing up as a child.
- Queenie and Susie (My real dad's hunting dogs. When he died, they got out of the fence and never came back. No blame is placed in this case.)
- goldfish (soon flushed down the toilet)
- Petey the parakeet (cried to get him in a garage sale, had him for about a week, went on vacation and he mysteriously perished upon my remains unsolved)
- Fred the dog (Got him from the pound. Tried to take care of him. Being that I was only seven, proved unsuccessful. Returned to pound roughly one month later.)

* Animals were not my parents' thing. They had a hard enough time keeping up with and taking care of a small, inquisitive, very vocal little girl with untreated ADHD. That was enough of a challenge.

Exhibit B: The reaction of parents to the purchase of Daisy
While her unending cuteness and loveability were visible from her earliest of days, the exact reaction from my parents when I brought Daisy home from her mother was "Why in the hell would you go and get a dog?" She was not an impulse buy by any means. I timed it down to the day of purchasing her and picking her up. But rest assured...they were convinced I'd lost my ever-loving mind.

Exhibit C: The reaction of parents to the first time Daisy had an, um, accident at their house
It was made clear that she was not welcome there ever again. Ever.

Which leads us to today's case:
In Which My Dad Was Clearly Abducted By Aliens and Replaced By a Kinder, Gentler, Animal-Loving Dad

A while back, I thought I'd slowly introduce Daisy back into proper society. She's been going to my parents house for a quick stop here and there, and even made it to Saturday night dinners. (Big deal). Then, it came time for the big show. Thanksgiving Day. She made it through with flying colors. That's about the time things started getting a little strange. Then came Christmas Day, in which she got some quality time in the chair with my dad that left us all with eyebrows raised. I believe it was sometime between Thanksgiving Day and Christmas that the aliens sent in the replacement dad.

My aunt's move to Lubbock proved to be a bit of a challenge for Daisy as much as it was for me. Aside from the loss of her beloved boyfriend, My Uncle Mike, she no longer had a place to stay while I was out of town leading my gypsy-ish lifestyle, and was faced with the prospect of (gasp!) being boarded. But since my father was quite clearly abducted by aliens, she no longer has a worry in her pretty little head.

My parents keep her for me. More specifically, my dad. My mom tolerates her existence in the house, and occasionally even pets her. My dad, however, since he was abducted by aliens, he gets excited to see her. And the things he does for her and to her while I'm away, well...they just scream alien abduction:
- He refuses to put her in her crate. For any reason. At all. The first time I brought her home from there and told her to get in her crate...well, you could hear audible dog laughter and scoffing.
- He takes her out places. He doesn't want her to get bored at the house all day, so he takes her to the office with him. This is the biggest proof that he's been abducted by aliens, because if he hasn't, then he's just off his rocker!!!
- He bathes her while she's there! In the kitchen sink. This man who used to have a ritualistic and borderline-obsessive-compulsive routine involving cleaning the kitchen now throws my Shih Tzu in the kitchen sink and hoses her down. I'm in shock ya'll. Utter shock.

I could go on and on, but this is about the longest post in the history of the universe (our universe or the alien's universe?), so I won't. But rest assured. There ARE aliens. And one of 'em lives in Flower Mound with my mom.

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