That’s from the movie “What Happens in Vegas”, and I thought it many times during my dinner and movie with my sister. I’m going to try to tell you the events, but it’s such a furiously frustrated blur, that I’m not sure how it’s going to come out.
I typically spend Saturday night with my parents, but since they were having dinner with friends and my sister was in town, they encouraged us to spend time together, as they always are, in the hopes that we will discover we like each other, have lots in common, and basically spend the evenings together telling secrets and braiding each others’ hair.
Ain’t gonna happen.
Back to the evening. We arrange to get together for dinner and what movie to see, and how I will pick her up at 6. I roll in at 6ish, and she is asleep. She wakes up to get ready and we get in the car. This is where I began thinking about killing her with my mind.
We’re headed to eat, and she begins telling me about work. About how she did this bridal event and got all dressed up in a bridal gown and veil and she had pictures and she would show me pictures of her in a wedding dress….If I could kill someone with my mind right now, it would be her.
During dinner, she’s telling me h0w she doesn’t know what she wants to do with her life and blah blah blah blah…She’s telling me about her boyfriend, and how they’re serious, and blah blah blah… If I could kill someone with my mind right now, it would be her.
Then-get this: she tells me how her boyfriend wants to do Teach for America like his sister does, and if he does, then she might go to a foreign country and be a teacher for a little while too. At this point, I almost tried to use more than my mind to kill her.
It just gets better from there.
When we left the house, I left a drink on the counter. She asked me if I was going to take it. I told her I wasn’t because I was going to buy an icee at the movies. She shoved a drink in her purse. We get to the movies. I get an icee. We sit down. She asks me for a sip of my icee. Throughout the course of the movie, she drinks my icee…If I could kill someone with my icee right now, it would be her.
I brought Starburst because I love them and will not pay for both an icee and candy. She proceeded to eat several of them during the movies. And text during the movie. And get up during the movie to take a phone call…If I could kill someone with my mind right now, it would be her.
But the best…the best didn’t happen until after David’s funeral. I get back to my office, and I have a text message:
“ Hey, would u maybe be able to swing me a flight to new york from your friend that’s gets u cheap flights??”
If I could kill someone with my mind, right now it would be her. Instead, I just typed “no” and got on with my day.