It's my nature to reward pushiness with inattention, Mrs. Heaps.

Pushing Daisies quote

I was going to write a longer post about the rodeo and how sometimes I think my mom has never met me, and even go deep about Jesus and friendship and stuff like that, but I was too busy googling someone. Oh, Google...thou art a useful tool. And Facebook...you come in a close second. A very close second.

Instead, I will leave you with a couple of letters.
Dear Parents,
While I thank you so much for taking care of my little princess (about whom I refuse to use the phrase "grand dog"). You are a life saver and a bank account saver. However, please stop bombarding her with treats and cheese. She's always pretty much felt like she owns the joint (who am I kidding? She does.) Only now, you see, she feels entitled to as many treats here at my house as she gets at your place. To the point where she stands and barks at the cupboard. And you know how much I hate barking and have trained her not to. Thank you, but she's going to have to be cut off for her own safety. From me kicking her, because I'm too lazy to bend down and spank her.
Thanks,
The daughter that wishes you'd stop calling her Daisy's "mom." Seriously. Stop it.

Dear General Public,
Don't send me hate mail. I don't kick my dog. I was only speaking metaphorically.
Sort of.
Love and such,
The animal lover

Dear Daisy,
If you expect to get any treats, you will stop barking immediately. As in three minutes ago. You are driving me crazy. I understand it's a very short trip, but I promise it's a destination you don't want me to reach. Oh, and if you're going to continue hiding under the bed, thinking that will stop me from leaving you in your crate, you might want to go in a little further, so your tail isn't sticking out so conveniently for me to grab you by and drag you out from under the bed. Just a thought.
Love and such,
Your human.

Dear General Public,
Don't send me hate mail. I don't pull my dog by the tail. I was only speaking metaphorically.
Sort of.
Love and such,
The animal lover.