He'll come here because I have the most sincere pumpkin patch and he respects sincerity.

Oh my sweet Jesus ya'll.

On my death certificate, the cause of death will be listed as "That Boy."

I thought that in person flirting with this boy was hard for this girl that gets zero practice per year in the flirting game. That was before I attempted to text with this boy. Oh. my. lord-have-mercy-on-my-soul.

So, while the LiFE clan thought I should just ask him to coffee, I don't typically interact with him in an environment or time when that would be an option, so I was still playing it by ear. Actually, with the crazy week I've had, I've not thought about him much at all.

Last night, it struck me as I lay down to bed at 8:14pm to text him about the local high school football game that is tomorrow night. I decided sometime after school I would text him and act all breezy. "Hey, you can't say you're breezy, that, that totally negates the breezy." (Name that show). 

Let's talk about what ensued.

5:30pm- "It's jen. Are you going to the (insert local football rivalry here) tomorrow?"

* now at this point, I wasn't expecting an immediate response. I just sent it out into the cellular world and thought nothing of it. At this point, I should also note that I fully expected a yes or a no. I was opening up the option for him to ask me out as long as we both shall live, or to reply a quick no that would lead me to the conclusion that he's definitely not interested. I have asked God repeatedly for this kind of swift end, all to no avail.

5:39- He texts back with a maybe if it doesn't rain. What am I supposed to do with that? So, I text back immediately. I hear nothing, so I think that the conversation is over. Oh well. Moving on with my life...

5:57- He texts back and asks where the game is. I immediately text back and say where it's at, and that last time I drove there it took forever and I had to park in Oklahoma. Maybe you remember me mentioning it.

5:59- He texts back quickly, with an LOL at the end. Look at that! We might be having a conversation after all! I text back "Am I looking for an excuse not to go? Maybe..." Thinking that he might just reply with "well, I'll take you out to dinner and to get married so you don't have to go." (Hey...I realize it's a stretch...)

I hear nothing. At all. Assume conversation is over.

6:38- He texts back not understanding the question. Oh my word at this point I've forgotten what we were texting about. Why is he keeping this up? I text back that what I meant was I was looking for an excuse not to drive to the game. He immediately texts that I could have a flat. I text back that it's a good idea, but really, no one will notice I'm not there. (Meaning he could take me out to dinner and marry me and I woudln't even get in trouble for not going to the game...) And...you guessed it...no response. Guess the conversation is over. Move on with life again...

6:56- He says he could make me have a flat. What the h-e-double-hockey-sticks does that mean? I write three different attempts at a flirty response before I text back "You would do that for me?"

I haven't heard back. Many of my other friends have texted me, leading me to think he's responding with a dinner invitation and possibly marraige proposal, but not so much. Since it's after 9pm, and we both know that the other is an early bedtime kind of person, I'm assuming the conversation is over.

And while I know "what happens when you assume..."
I can make an ass out of myself without any assumptions thank you very much.

Now I just wonder if I'll see him at the game tomorrow night or hear from him at all...