I understand what would make a woman think any man is better than nothing, but I'll never understand what makes a woman think she's got nothing

I found a reciept in a book.

I taught a lesson in Bible Study, about Hannah, and wanted to go a little deeper, so when I got home from church I pulled out my "Women of the Bible" book that I haven't opened since I taught a group of girls in my apartment. I found the receipt from Starbucks and laughed at the date: 2005.

Sunday night, I pulled it out again right before bed, and looked on the back of the receipt:

Giordano's
Rush/Michigan*
Rosemont (River)
Water Tower?
Lakeshore

Gino's East
Pizzaria Uno
Victoria's

Wow. That brought back some memories. Of the phone call that made that list. I can picture myself laying in bed, finding the first thing I could write on, with the first pen I could get my hands on. I remember it as if it were yesterday.

Those were the suggestions of places to eat in Chicago. I was getting ready for my first trip north of the Mason-Dixon line, to Chicago. He had grown up there or something, and had a list of places I should go. I didn't make it to any of them. And when I got home, I quit returning phone calls and just let it fade away.

No, this is not another September Story (though I should continue that soon) and this is not about George. It's about a guy I still refer to as This Guy I Wasn't Dating. See, we met through some friends, and then he asked for my number and we talked on the phone and we had lunch and breakfast and cooked dinner and watched movies and he even took me skeet shooting for the first time (I know! Me and a firearm).

After about a month of nightly phone calls, and several weekend outings, I had no idea what we were doing or what to call him. So, I initiated the DTR. The Define The Relationship conversation. What are we doing here? What do we call ourselves? His answer: we're just hanging out. He's not really into dating, and doesn't really see himself ever getting married, and he guessed I should know that upfront.

Did I say "see ya"? Not at first. I continued to accept his calls, which led to the Chicago receipt suggestions. After I "misunderstood" our dinner plans and sat waiting almost all night for him to come over, only to find out that Tekken 5 had been released, and that's where he was and he was sorry he didn't call but he lost track of time, I still accepted his calls.

Because then, any man was better than nothing at all. And I was pretty sure I had nothing at all.

Looking back, and contrasting then with now, I'd like to think that I wouldn't do that again, but I can't say that for certain. I don't know if I'd fall into the same patterns, just to have someone to talk to at night. I can say I'd have more than one friend asking me what the hell I was doing with this guy and all but pulling an intervention to make me stop letting him treat me that way.

And this time, I would listen.