Fellow glee clubbers, it would be an honor to show you how a real storm out is done. I encourage you to follow my lead.

Dear Lady Who Answered The Phone At The Electric Company,

I understand that you are only the person answering my call.
I understand that you are only following a script and you have no real power, and you have done everything you can, and you are probably simply reading from some problem-solving customer service flow chart.
I understand it is not your fault.

At first, you were not the person at whom my frustration was aimed.

However.

If you tell me one. more. time. that "maybe it's because of my heater since we've had some cold weather", I will come through the phone, so help me cow, and show you exactly where I plan to 'place' my heater.

I understand that the billing cycle this month was 4 days longer. However, in those four days, I did not use an entire month's worth of electricity. I understand that this month was colder than other months, but only by an average of 3 degrees, so my bill should not go up by 53%. Even if my heater is electric and we've had some cold weather.

Just tell me there's nothing you can do. Just tell me that as far as your computer and paperwork show, there has been no mistake. Just tell me you don't know why my electric bill doubled on a month where I was gone for seven days. Just tell me you don't have a solution and let me get on with my life.

Because I promise you, while you think that you are trying to diffuse the situation by offering prospective reasons for the doubling, you are not helping in any way whatsoever. I can think of those reasons on my own. I'm not an idiot. But just because you say them instead of me, that does not make them magically make sense.

Do us both a favor and end the phone conversation. Don't leave it up to me to end the conversation.

Because even though I end it with "thank you very much", I don't mean it. I'm just saying that instead of the thoughts that were inside my head.

You're welcome.

XOXO.
The Girl Whose Heater Is Electric And We've Had Some Colder Weather

Dear Readers Of This Blog,
Thank you for listening.
Just a head's up: We've had some colder weather, and if your heater is electric, you may get a ginormous bill. Don't try to call the electric company about it. They're not helpful.
Love and such,
JO