When I first moved into the apartment complex that I now live in, I lived in a second floor apartment. There was someone below me, who mistook the neighbor's dog for my dog, and complained about me. I did not like them.
And then, above me, were Dick and Jane. I don't know what their actual names were, but that's what I called them. You see, they were a very- shall we say volatile?- couple. They would get into these knock-down-drag-out-scream-at-the-top-of-your-lungs-slam-every-door-in-the-apartment-multiple-times fights. And every fight would end up with her screaming "You're such a Dick!" (I'm sure by that she meant his first name. No?)
So, he became "Dick" and she thus became "Jane". You'd think that this would be aggravating, and I'd be calling the apartment complex to complain, but it really wasn't. I found it quite hysterical, because they fought over the silliest things. One particular fight that left me laughing was when Jane cooked Dick some macaroni and cheese and he didn't appreciate it enough. I remember something to do with the cabinet doors as well, but that part's a little fuzzy.
See, that's about the time that Officer Mitchell showed up. He knocked on my door just past ten, about ten minutes after I'd gone to bed. Daisy gets very stirred up when someone knocks on the door after bedtime, so it was all I could do to keep her contained, and since I didn't know that it was an officer at the door I wasn't about to open it right up. He seemed to think I was the victim of the domestic call for which he was investigating.
When I finally convinced him, and his partner who then showed up, that I was not, in fact, in the middle of a dispute with someone else I was hiding, they headed upstairs. Turns out Dick and Jane were "not home" but had left the dishwasher running. Hmm.
For a while, I had my own direct line to a police officer, should the need ever again arise.
And based on the banging and screaming and stomping and cursing that just happened one floor above me, I think I may need that officer's number again.