Wednesday, March 09, 2011

Gallon Guy

On my death certificate, the cause of death will be listed as "GALLON GUY."

It is Open House time, in which we do lots of projects to show how much we're learning in class and such. The rain-on-your-wedding-day ironic part of this whole endeavor is that although I am an artist and a crafter, I do not do many artsy projects in my classroom. At all. The only other one I did this year was done by my student teacher. On purpose.

And then comes Open House. It's tough for our kind because we've got several projects, and a definite deadline. And I don't do well with deadlines on my own projects. I've got three books that need to be done for gifts, and I'm getting started this week even though they need to be done at the end of May.

So this week, I get to say things like "If you don't get your tissue paper bluebonnet done today you will never see recess again!" It's lovely. Add that to the fact that today is the first day of Lent and I no longer allow myself access to Diet Coke, and we're all treading on thin ice.

 I am a woman on the edge, people.
Woman on the edge.

Last year's class was so not interested in doing anything crafty, and our projects turned out ugly. For a crafter, that's embarrassing. So this year, I was determined to stress neatness and taking our time and coloring the correct way and outlining with marker, and I even launched into demonstrations about how and when to color in the lines.

Because of this, we are taking our time and doing our best work and our Gallon Guys my not be finished by the time they graduate high school but by gawd they are going to look lovely.

Conversations between me and the kids:
kid: Now that I'm done cutting it out, what do I do?
me: What do you think you do?
kid: Glue it together?
me: Good idea.

kid: Here's the extra I borrowed. You should keep the extras in case anyone else needs them.
me: Yes, I know. That is what I am doing. I have it under control. I promise.

I've also already broken up one political discussion and one heated exchange regarding Justin Beiber.

I recognize that I am stating a case for those that homeschool their children.
You're welcome.

(and yes, I posted this while I was at school, as the flurry of Gallon Guy activity was swirling around me.)

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