Sunday, April 24, 2011

Easter does begin and end with the letters ER

In my apparent quest to see every ER in the metroplex area (including the animal ones), I'd already covered the local ER and a neighboring town's ER, but I guess I wanted to go a little more urban, and last night I got to tour one of the downtown ER's. And let the record show that in none of these instances was I the actual patient.

Long story short: My aunt and uncle are in town because my uncle is going through chemo and had a stem cell transplant. It's not The Aunt, but one much crazier from East Texas. And though I always joke that I'm a woman on the edge (on the edge, people), this woman has set up camp on the edge and sends postcards regularly. She has some attention issues, meaning she's not happy unless she's the center of it, even if it is her husband that's going through the chemo and such. So we take her issues with a grain of salt (around the rim of a margarita).

Due to an even longer and more complicated story, my uncle is staying at The Parents' house while he recuperates from the transplant, and the crazy aunt was staying downtown because she had a stomach bug and can't be around him due to his compromised immune system.

Whew. Now that all the explaining's done, let's get to the good stuff.

Last night, I'd planned to go to The Parent's house to grade some papers and hang with the fam and the uncle. When I'm on my way, The Mother calls and says I may have to go pick up the crazy aunt and take her to get a c-t scan. At this point, it should be noted that I was channeling the Pioneer Woman by wearing a pair of black yoga pants with a hole in the leg. And a flimsy red tee. I think the word you're looking for is "pur-tee".  

So, I head downtown, pick up The Sister (who was tasked to do this on her own- yeah. right.) and we set out to pick up the crazy aunt and head to the ER. About fifteen minutes into the whole endeavor, I started taking notes on  my iTouch. It was the least I could do you for you bloggy friends.

Some observations:
- Even if I have brought my kindle and two books on Rome, I will still clean out my purse, eat all the skittles and a couple of kit kats, and play angry birds on my iTouch just to kill time.
- Despite the description of my attire as given above, I was still the best dressed and best looking person in the ER on a Saturday night. Well, after I sent The Sister out for food. 
- When you're in the ER, you television viewing choices are CNN coverage of the Waco incident years ago or Shrek. The first one. That'll do Donkey. That'll do.

Now. After those observations, I was called to the desk. Never a good sign.The man behind the desk said crazy aunt was "going ballistic". Well crap. (Possibly not the words I used.) When I walked back to care unit D, I was greeted at the door with "Are you Jennifer?" I responded "Maybe."

Turns out she'd been calling for me for about a half an hour. She went on to then get snippy with the surgical resident, which I disagreed with because hello, this person may be cutting into your abdomen... you might want to be a smidge nicer. Finally, she got a bed and the sister headed home about midnight.

Turns out the diagnosis was acute apendicitis, and early this morning, while I was going through the stations of the Cross with kindergarteners, she was having her appendix out.

I more than earned my Easter basket this year, I do believe.

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