Friday, August 05, 2011

Things my mother says

Aside from the random "cussing" comment from yesterday, and the "chicken pox" confusion of a few years back, my mother says some crazy things. I don't include those two, because those were legitimate mistakes, and today's topic is not about that.

See, my mother has lately taken to saying words weirdly.

Don't get me wrong- I know exactly what she's trying to say. I just can't figure out for the life of me why she's saying it the way she is.

So, I've decided to kick off a new little series of posts, as the mispronouncing has become more frequent as of late. These will be very short posts, but I want you to better understand what kind of crazy I come from.

Since this is the first entry, allow me to share three examples of what I'm talking about:
(my mother's pronunciation will be in italics)

1- A conversation between me and my mother regarding two men that I thought were the same guy.
me: Are you sure that's not the same guy you were telling me about?
Mom: No. This guy had much more red color in his go-tee-ay.
me: He's not French. You mean "goatee".

2- Mom's putting out snacks.
me: an avocado?
Mom: Yes. I'm going to make gwak-a-mole.
me: It's guacamole. With an 'ay' sound at the end. You sound ridiculous.

And finally, a personal favorite:
me: Do you want to just use the lining from the existing curtain?
Mom: No, I think I'll be fine without it. I have some leftover muslim at home.
me: Oh my God, Mom. You mean muslin. Muslin. Not Muslim. Muslin.

There you have it. Welcome to my crazy.

No comments:

Post a Comment


Blog Widget by LinkWithin