Alternate title: Bad things happen when you miss church.
This weekend, I am sitting on babies again. I have three brothers, which means I have to do a ridiculous amount of things before 9am, including but not limited to fixing a remote controlled car, performing a minor medical procedure, and cleaning up dog vomit. Twice. Two of my friends that read this and have three boys are snickering at me right now.
Oh. And the dog. The dog that hasn't been fixed, and has taken a shining to me and the blanket I'm snuggled under.
These boys are ridiculously early risers, particularly when the oldest has to be out the door by 7am on Saturday morning for a cross country race (areyoukiddingme?)
This morning, no one had to be anywhere before noon, so I thought we were all sleeping in.
I awake to the sound of the dog whining downstairs. Easy to ignore. Until he starts barking. I look at the clock and wow. It's only 5am. Curses. If I don't stop the barking now, the boys will be up. So I head downstairs and let him out.
He goes out the door and then immediately turns around and comes right back in. Oh no. I did not drag myself downstairs at five in the morning for this. I open the door and walk out there with him. He's ready to come back inside, yet when I turn the door knob...
Yeah. I'm locked out of someone else's house at five in the morning with no key. And three sleeping boys upstairs.
People, this is not my first rodeo when it comes to doing dumb things like this. This is also the reason that I rarely freak out about much of anything. It is also why I have my phone with me AT ALL TIMES. And why I don't delete emails until I know I'm done with them.
So, here is what prayer looks like when you're a little bit idiot-prone and find yourself locked out of someone else's house at 5:13 in the morning:
"Dear Sweet Baby Jesus, First of all, let me just thank you that this is their moms first trip away from them and she felt she needed to email me all of the codes as well as writing them down and sending them in an email attachment. Also, thank you for making this happen so early that I had to check my phone that had the garage codes on it in an email. Now, I just realized that the boys were super diligent and they locked every.single.door to the house, but I would greatly appreciate it if you could somehow have the door to the garage unlocked, because between you me, I just don't know if I can handle the boys on such little sleep."
In the end, Sweet Baby Jesus heard my prayers and I was able to open the garage door, go in through the back door, let the dog in, and go back to sleep.
For 75 more minutes until the dog started barking and woke the whole house, three little boys included.
**Updated to add (for the benefit of my two three-boy-moms): yes, the back of my car seat has muddy footprints on it.