Monday, March 25, 2013

In which I accidentally take a shot of vodka at school

Holy Monday, Batman! (P.S. upon typing this story, I realize it's more of a "had to be there" story, but I'm sharing nonetheless).

I'm finally done sitting on babies, but am just as busy if not busier than when I was.

Common fact: if you want to get rid of anything- anything at all- put it in the teachers' lounge. Old books? We'll take them and read them.

Food? Oh we'll eat that right up. Even if it's labeled in German.

Someone (who later turned out to be our school secretary) left a box of chocolates in the lounge, hoping to get rid of them. Here's what she left:

All of the middle pieces were gone, which is fine, because I'm not as big a fan of chocolate. But you see those pink pieces on the right. Those say mon-cheri. And I don't speak German, but I think that means cherry. And I love me some cherry.

So I grabbed one and bit right into it. I immediately noticed that it had a liquid center, and I thought "hmm. Must be like a chocolate covered cherry with the syrupy center."

Except I slowly realized that it was pure liquid and all of a sudden burning my tongue.

It was then that I noticed that it was alcohol. Burning, vodka-like alcohol and the custodian was changing the trash bag in the trashcan so I could not spit it out.

I swallowed it and laughingly told my principal what happened. We went and looked at the ingredients, and found that it was 13% LIKOR, which I'm assuming is liquor in German, which is what the ingredients were apparently labeled in.

Whatever it was, twenty minutes and half a diet coke later, I'm pretty sure I could light my breath on fire.

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