On Being Single

I've been thinking lately about being single. One of my growth group girls told me on Sunday that she wants me to get married soon so she can be in my wedding. (Two other leaders recently got married, and their girls got to be in the weddings). My students ask me all the time why I don't just get married. I ask them if they know anyone. They're seven, so they just shrug.

This other blog I read was asked about the benefits of being single. I have lots of thoughts on being single. I've been doin' it awhile. As a single Christian, I've heard a lot of sermons and read a lot of books. I have a lot of thoughts.

I once had a single adult minister that was so focused on being complete in God, and nurturing the single life and such, that she was almost millitant about it. We were never encouraged to talk about marriage, and I always felt guilty that I wanted to get married some day. That was a time when it was hard to be single.

Since I wasn't getting any direction from her, I went straight to the Source. I asked Him if I would ever get married, and in His own way, He said yes. So, I know that He told Abraham that he would be the father of many nations and told Noah that he would never wipe out the human race again, and He kept those promises, so I know He's going to keep the one He made to me.

So, I go from there. Paul says a lot about being single. It's good stuff, but it's often misinterpreted. He says if you're single, it's a gift, and it's from God, and you should stay single. But us single people, especially the older ones like me, we get this message that maybe we're supposed to stay single. And that's so discouraging. I mean, here's this one thing that we want more than everything, that, lots of other people get, and we're just supposed to go "oh, okay. I guess I don't get to have that."

I think what Paul's saying is that we should not be focused on being single, but instead, focus on what God's doing for us and with us and through us, and let the rest go. He says in 1 Corinthians 7:34 "a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit." (NLT)

I didn't fully understand this until I met some people that were okay being single, and some people that were not okay being single. I have a couple of single Christian girl acquaintances, and I have gone so far as to ask others in conversation not to put me in the group with these girls. They ooze desperation and even use phrases like "my eggs are shriveling up." That's what Paul's telling all of us not to be.

I am trying to be what Paul talked about. I am trying to focus on the Lord, and I'm doing the best I can. No one is ever focused on the Lord all the time. But I guess if I just don't focus on being single all the time, I guess I'm on the right track.

More to come later...