First, a little math equation:
up late + watching The Dark Knight = crazy, crazy dreams. all. night. long.
I miss the days where I could sleep until noon. If I go to bed at 10 pm on a Friday night, I'll wake up around 8am. If, like last night, I go to bed at 1am, I wake up at...8:30am. Ridiculous.
I spent the day getting some shopping done to get ready for camp that is coming up next week. Then I went to our leadership meeting for camp, where everything fell right back into place, and reassured me that we're going to have a great week.
Then, I came home to check the dreaded FB, where I discovered a coworker is pregnant. In the years that we've worked at our school, I've watched her get pregnant, have a baby, get a divorce, get married again, and now she's pregnant.
And she's younger than me.
And it sucks. I don't begrudge her any happiness, but I can't pretend that it doesn't remind me that while she's had all of these life changes, I've stayed the same. Yes, some of them are heartbreaking. She didn't choose divorce, but her husband chose to do some things that made a divorce necessary. And while my life hasn't been heartbreaking, it's been the same.
My Tuesday night group is meeting again for the summer. We first met for the summer two years ago, and now we're doing it again. On the first night, we went around and talked about what had chaged for us in the last two years.
And my answer? Absolutely nothing.
Same apartment.
Same job.
Same dog.
Same family.
Same car.
Same everything.
Yes, stability is good, but at some point it just becomes monotony. And apparently, that's what God has called me to: a life of monotony. Every day the same.
Remember in April when I took a break from blogging? This is why. A college friend had asked me what was new with me, since I hadn't talked to her in a year and a half.
I still haven't answered her. What do I say? I'm exploring the world of maxi dresses? I've started using these new bobby pins in my hair and I really like them? I'm drinking more water nowadays?
There's no solution to the laments on the boring life of monotony I lead. Other than to quit whining and count my blessings, which I will now go and do. And yes, I know this post is very whiny, so I have turned the comments off.
Tomorrow we'll discuss something much more fun. Like maybe the maxi dress issue.
